A is for Anger

Ok you guys.

It’s going to hit 4 months soon and I have yet to receive the wedding photos. Prior to the previous post, I had a spark of hope that Wandi (photographer and owner) will message me and inform that the photos are ready.

Up till today, no photos. None. Nada. Zilch.

He promised that he will have the photos ready before Raya. That’s when I texted him on 1st of June. On 21st of June, I texted him again to ask why isn’t there any link given for us to choose our photos (so that the photos can be developed ASAP). He replied that he will give us all photos. No replies thereafter.

I had to message him on 14th July and waited hours for his reply. He said it will be ready by next week (which means this week).

I am this close to exploding. And when I explode, it’s pretty nasty. I am a very temperamental, emotional person and I get angry easily (that’s why I take yoga and cardio classes to vent my anger somewhere else! LOL). I don’t like it when people break their promises. Besides, he is the LEAST person/vendor I thought would do such thing!

Granted, he is my friend/ex-sec schoolmate but…COME ON. If you can’t handle a lot of customers or have a lot of backlogs, then don’t take more than you can handle!

If there’s anyone out there or ex BTBs who’s having issues with him and wants to reach me, please email me at syafiqahamid@gmail.

You do not unleash the inner dragon.

100 days of being Mrs.

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Salam everyone!

Finally putting a face to the name! 🙂 This is me and my husband of whom I’ve been dating for 8 years.

Alhamdullilah, it has been a journey of being a Mrs, a wife and a daughter-in-law. We are also in the midst of celebrating our first Hari Raya together.

People never fail to ask us questions like, “How has marriage life been”. Truly, I have no correct answer for that. However, I am grateful that I get to wake up and sleep with this man every single day and night. But of course, the 100 days were not all fine and dandy. We have our ups and downs and we are still learning about each other despite being together for 8 years. The other day, I joked with my friends that one good thing about being married in Islam is that we get nafkah.

Of course I meant it as a lighthearted jokelah. It’s not that I need the money but for my non-muslim/chinese friends, this is very new to them. And I emphasized that once we are married, the Husband serves as protector and the guardian of the wife and the nafkah is one of the duties he have to do (read more here).

But at the end of the day, I’m super grateful that I’m still living at my (parents) place so fortunately or unfortunately, I have no horror stories about my MIL. Kidding! In actual fact, there is no room/space for us to move to my Husband’s house.

Anyhow, we are still waiting for our official pictures from The Fotorika (despite it being more than 3 months since the wedding). I think we are one of the most rilek couple as we did not chase for the pictures. But once we have it (which I hope to be very soon), a review post of all the vendors for our wedding!

To all the BTBs getting married this year, this is my message to you –

There is so much that you can do. But at the end of the day, you have to learn to let go and let God. Everything will go well if it’s meant to be. If it’s not, it’s okay. It’s just a wedding 🙂 The marriage is THE MOST important aspect of it all. All the best and don’t forget to smile!

To upcoming BTBs and new readers –

Welcome and I hope the posts have been somewhat fruitful to your research. Remember, not everyone will get the same price/treatment based on the vendors that you choose. But that’s okay. If it’s meant to be yours, it will be! There are others. Happy planning!.

Until the next post ❤

3 days

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

I’m 3 days away from entering a new stage in my life. I have mixed feelings and I can’t seem to put it into words. Perhaps, a part of me is nervous and another part of me is scared. I know it’s normal and it might get worse the night before the wedding. I’ve always been the bridesmaid and/or have witnessed my friends that got married and I’ll always tell them, “Don’t be nervous. All will be well”. But truly, one needs to be in that shoes to know exactly how it feels.

The past few days have been a whirlwind of emotions. I was super stressed on some DIY stuff/bridal issues that weren’t coming together. But I’m at the last lap now and I’m telling myself every single day to LET IT GO. There’s so much that I can do but ultimately, what’s going to happen will happen according to His will.

Alhamdullilah that being said, all my pending items/to-do list have completed. All thanks to my family members (especially my sisters) and my pillar of strength and motivation, the GTB.

This will be my last post as a Miss BTB. The next post, insyaAllah will be when I’ve upgraded my status to “Mrs”. I will review all the vendors and let future BTBs know my experiences.

Until then,

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Time to get married! 👰🏼

25 days

In the last update, I know I said that I will write about how my fitting went with my bridal. However, I just can’t seem to pen my sincere thoughts without sounding cynical.

It’s not that something bad happened but I just…was expecting more from them. I was slightly disappointed with their collection. Although I must say that from the first visit (in their old office space) in 2015, their collection grew. Perhaps, I had ‘high expectations’ and was too eager to see if they had a wider variety of songket but none gave me the butterfly feeling.

Anyhoo, I still have my final fitting and trial makeup a week before my wedding. So let’s conclude my vendor review once the wedding is over. Until then, I will try to make the best out of it 🙂

Note to self, you have 25 more days. Please do not procrastinate and get out of the house to run errands!

1) DIY stuff for the guestbook table/hantaran trays (buy flowers days before)
2) buying the necessities for my room (bedsheet set/flowers etc)
3) dresses/accessories for the flower girls (to get it done by 11th March)
4) shirt for my close cousins and uncle (to get it done by 11th March)

Where did all the time goooooo?!

30 days

So are you ready?
Omg, I’m so excited for you!”
How’s the preparations going?”
Is everything okay? You booked for facial and misc. already?

You guys, I have not even finished reading this book –

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One of the main reasons why I have a hard time swallowing the contents was because… It portrayed women as a submissive person and someone who always have to listen to what their husband have to say. I read up till page 30 and had to put it down because I can’t handle how subdued the women were. However, a friend of mine told me that I should read it with an open mind. And so I did and began reading it again from the first page.

I must say though, it’s very interesting to read about our prophet’s (pbuh), their wives and daughters’ lives back in the day. I’m not saying that I agree with what they say in the book but some of them are relevant and related to the teachings of the Quran. My goal till the day I’m about to be someone’s wife is to finish the book. So insyaallah, may He ease my journey in finishing the book (disclaimer: I am an avid reader/bookworm but when a book doesn’t entice me, it has to go).

Anyhow, back to my 30 days countdown…

Caterer & Decor✔ (Met up with Kak Erra to discuss food & decor. Site recce will be the week before my wedding )
Wedding Favours for Guests & Children (Berkat)✔
Hantaran Trays✔ DIY (Pending buying the flowers/necessities.)
Bunga Pahar/Sireh Dara✔  (My caterer will be doing my sireh dara while my MOH will be doing for the Groom.)
Bunga Manggar✔ DIY
Bunga Rampai✔ DIY
Bunga Pahar – ✔ (My mother insisted on having one but it won’t be on my pelamin. My caterer will put it on her berkat table.)
Wedding Cake✔
Venue – ✔
Bridal  – ✔ (Went for my first selection and deeds about the selection with Nawwarah in the next post. Pending final fitting & trial makeup.)
Bridal Bouquet ✔
Henna✔ (Most likely will do the red inai but not on the nails.)
Photographer✔ (Pre-wed shoot done!)
Music/MC/Entertainment✔
Kompang ✔
Photobooth/Guestbook✔ DIY (pending the decor for the table)
Wedding Invitations 
✔ 
Wedding Rings
✔
Bridesmaids & Groomsmen Attire –
✔
Hantaran gifts – ✔
Bridal shoes – ✔
Honeymoon – ✔ (booked the flight tix last year, settled accommodation/attraction tickets in January. Pending itinerary.)

Alhamdullilah, I believe most things are striked off from the to-do list.

I’m mostly left with:
1) DIY stuff for the guestbook table/hantaran trays
2) buying the necessities for my room
3) dresses/accessories for the flower girls
4) shirt for my close cousins and uncle

We’re almost there…

60 days

Holy smokes. Down to 60 days.

Listing the things here to ensure I’ve most things settled.

Caterer & Decor – ✔ (pending discussion for the decor)
Wedding Favours for Guests & Children (Berkat) – ✔
Hantaran Trays – ✔ DIY (pending buying the flowers/necessities)
Bunga Pahar/Sireh Dara– ✔ DIY (my MOH kindly offered to do it for me)
Bunga Manggar – ✔ DIY (the GTB completed them last year)
Bunga Rampai– ✔ DIY
Bunga Pahar – No idea whether my caterer doing it for me or…
Wedding Cake – ✔
Venue – ✔
Bridal  – ✔ (pending first selection/trial makeup)
Bridal Bouquet – ✔
Henna – ✔ (have yet to decide which inai should I get)
Photographer – ✔ (pending pre-wed photoshoot)
Music/MC/Entertainment – ✔
Kompang – ✔
Photobooth/Guestbook – ✔ DIY (pending the decor for the table)
Wedding Invitations 
✔ (pending sending the invitations out)
Wedding Rings

Bridesmaids & Groomsmen Attire –

I’m left with:

  • buying the last 2 gifts for my hantaran trays
  • buying the bridal shoes (which I will use for the next few years of Hari Raya hence, it has to be practical)
  • getting/buying all the DIY stuff

Insyaallah, everything will go as planned. C R U N C H time!

A peace of cake

This post is a  long time coming. I’ve been dying to update a post about my chosen cake vendor. I’ve finally paid the deposit and it is safe to finally reveal the baker….

Who is none other than The Cake Anthem (TCA). I first heard of her since the very first Eiding the Feast.

Eiding The Feast is a charity bake sale which sees Singaporean home bakers from all walks of life come together, sponsor their bakes and with the money raised from the bake sale, founder Shereen Naaz and her partners, Kit Ying and Yasmeen, organise for cooked food meal donations to children’s homes in Singapore for children to break their fast with during the month of Ramadhan.

Apart from secretly salivating her bakes online, I was also loving how humble and down to earth she was (she was an ex-SQ stewardess)! I met her back in August 2015 when I was my friend’s bridesmaid and had to liaise with her as she was the baker. It’s the 2nd time I met her but the first to ever communicate with her. She has such positive vibes, super smiley and really humble (she’s really pretty too)! That’s when it hit me that I would want to have the same positive vibes from all my vendors when it’s my turn (tak kirelah you are well-known or what, but positive vibes are a must to have a great relationship between 2 people or more).

She was one of my top 3 choices (one of them was of course Fluff Bakery). Some time last year, I messaged TCA to ask if they are taking in 2017 bookings. Unfortunately, she’s only opening her slots at the later part of the year. Having said that, I was informed of her cake price list. Alhamdullilah, it’s within my budget for:

  • 2 tier cakes
  • Floral arrangement
  • Delivery

I was really keen on getting her for my wedding cake and I really love her designs! Luckily, she mentioned that she will do a ‘soft booking’ for me but still…. To me, nothing is confirmed until a deposit is being paid 😦

On the other hand, Fluff opened up their 2017 calendar towards the end of last year. Of course I had to inquire to know how much was the market rate (even though a friend of mine had their wedding cake back in January 2015). You guys… Like all other vendors, Fluff also increased their prices and it was way above my budget. But again, to each his own. If you really love her style/flavour/cake, then by all means spend all you want 🙂

When TCA finally opened their 2017 bookings late last year, I messaged them and asked if my date was still available. Alhamdullilah, she really did ‘soft booked’ it for me. As I was traveling back and forth in November to December, our conversations were left hanging. I only realized that I didn’t pay the deposit on the first week of January! So I quickly confirmed the flavours/look/details of the cake and wham bam…

Finally confirmed everything with TCA. Alhamdullilah.

P/S: Thought I might highlight this for memory sake/future BTBs memo:

TCA really went all out to advise me a few things on the cake. For example, I wanted a 10″base + 6″top but she recommended to go for the 8″base + 6″top as it will look better for the look that I’m going for. Even though there was a huge price difference (10″ vs 8″), she cared more about her aesthetic rather than getting more $$. To all future BTBs (in whatever stage of planning you are at), find the vendors that are sincere in getting your dream/visual a reality. A good rapport is a must to ensure things will go smoothly at the end of the day. Bonus points will be given to vendors that are honest and sincere and not out to cheat/take advantage of your money.

You do you and always remember the main intention of the wedding: Two families are coming together for Allah. This union is for Him.

It took me a while to get to this part but I’m beginning to realize that all these little details are trivial and small in comparison to His blessings. Insyaallah, everything will go smoothly with His blessings 🙂 Thank you Aida for this reminder.

Hustling (part 2)

A while back, the GTB and I went to JB Larkin to get my wedding invitation cards printed (read here).

That was in September.

Based on our conversations and hard copy of the receipt, it’s stated that within 2 weeks (10 days as stated in the receipt) from the first deposit, we would get a soft/digital copy of our card. After our approval, they will proceed to print. Within a month (stated 14 days in the receipt), we will be able to collect the cards.

That didn’t happen.

Let me give you the timeline:

24th September: Went to Thong Seng and paid 50% of our deposit
8th October: I emailed them a soft copy of our design and to add an additional 50 more pieces

10 days passed and still no email.

25th October: Dropped them an email to ask if the design fits the chosen card size

I received a call a week later and they asked if I already send in the design. I told them I already did AND emailed them again but still no reply. They told me they will check and get back to me.

8th November: Finally they replied and said that my design fits and they resend back my design
9th November: When they sent back the soft copy of the design, I was confused. Am I supposed to look for something? So I replied back and asked if the border fits and it should not be out of frame (bridezilla alert)
9th November: They asked if they could proceed with printing (did not reply my question)
10th November: I emailed and asked them again

No reply until…I emailed them again on the 15th November

15th November: They finally replied!
16th November: Replied them to proceed with the printing and to confirm additional 50 more pieces

No reply/updates.

29th November: I emailed and asked if my cards were ready for collection

No reply/updates.

6th December: Dropped them an email to ask if the cards were ready.
6th December: They replied and said that my cards were ready
6th December: I asked if total number of cards were 600 since they did not get back about this
6th December: They replied and said that it’s 600 pieces
27th December: Emailed them out of courtesy to inform that I’m coming down on 29th December

Came down on the 29th, braced the crowd and made it to Larkin after a 3-4hr jam at Causeway. Upon arriving, I checked with them again if it was 600 pieces. The Lady boss seemed confused and checked the receipt. I told her my copy of receipt was for 550 pieces but I already emailed a gazillion times that I need 50 pieces more. So the Lady boss and her salesperson took out one stack and “recounted”. Oh by the way, the envelopes were not even ready!

She counted one stack and said “Okay, 300”. And I asked how about the other stack? She said, “Oh…Ini sama height jadi should be 600“.

Holy moly. By this time, I was like….

So the salesperson came out with a box of 500 envelopes (written on the box) and another 100 more pieces of loose envelopes. She stacked them in and I asked her to reconfirm whether she counted the loose 100 pieces of envelopes. She said yes.

So I give you benefit of the doubt. No point tipu customers right?

The next day, I wanted to show the invitation cards to my sisters and casually counted them.

You guys….

I was missing 10 pieces of cards and 5 of them were defected (ie. printed wrongly). The 100 loose envelopes were short of 2. Luckily, the box of envelopes had 3 extra pieces (so the number on the box shouldn’t be 500 but instead 503 LOL). Oh my goodness. There was not even any extra pieces of the cards please!

So…

30th December: Emailed them with proof of the damage cards and told them I’m missing 10 pieces
30th December: They replied and I quote ” just double checked with supplier on this, they say normally they will print 10 to 15pcs card extra. Is the card enough?”

Which part of I’m missing 10 pieces don’t you understand?

So I replied on the very same day and gave them the breakdown. Again, I asked for 15 pieces.

3rd Jan: Finally they replied and said they managed to get 11 pieces from supplier and I can come down anytime.

I. Just. Can’t.

To the last few people that won’t receive the card, you will get a digital copy okay!

At the end of this whole traumatic experience, I’ll say that buat dekat negeri sendiri lagi afdal. It’s really not worth it going back and forth JB and the emails… You have to wait gazillion years for them to get back. Of course, maybe your experience would be better than mine. However, I strongly advise that unless you have the whole energy and time in the world (and you want to cut costs), by all means do it in JB.

ROMM interview

Apart from the pre-marriage course and the booking of Tok Kadi, the ROMM interview was one of the things that I was looking forward to strike them out from my list 😉

As you all know, the registration will be deemed confirmed only when you (the BTB), future husband (GTB) and Wali has given their statutory declarations and all necessary documents have been verified by the Registry.

Like I mentioned before, I wanted to get the nitty gritty stuff done before the year ends. You can choose to go anytime after you book your Kadi as long as before 5 weeks before your wedding.

ROM & ROMM share the same building. Their opening hours are –

Monday – Thursday  8.30am to 11.30am
 2.00pm to 3.30pm
Friday  8.30am to 11.00am
 2.30pm to 3.30pm

We went on the 5th December, Monday, and we were the first Muslim couple to get our number (we waited outside the building at about 7.30am). Trust me, we were NOT the first in line!

There were quite of a number of documents you need to bring and you can find the deeds here (varies for each couple). Although the pre-marriage course/certificate is not compulsory anymore, I decided to just bring them because who knows they might want to see it.

I’ve heard various experiences from fellow ex-BTBs about this “scary interview” and about how the Ustaz will test your Quran/doa knowledge and asked hard questions. Trust me ladies, there’s nothing to be afraid of!

There’s 2 procedures: Document verification (DV) and Statutory Declaration (SD).

During the DV, we had to wait for our number. Once our number was called, we went to one of the counters behind the glass wall and passed our IC’s and my Wali’s IC (which is my Dad). We had to double check our info (solemnization date and time/mas kahwin/hantaran etc) and that’s when I realized that the GTB put the incorrect number for my home telephone.

Luckily, we could change on the spot and do not need to pay for the amendments. After that, we had to sign and wait outside for our number to be called again.

Within the next 5 minutes, our number was called. This time, my Dad went into one of the rooms with the forms. He was in and out within 2 minutes. He told us that the Ustaz asked –

  1. If I was his legitimate daughter?
  2. If he’s the father?
  3. If he approves of the marriage?

He was told to sign and take the oath.

After that, the GTB was prepared to go in. However, my Dad told us that the Ustaz wanted both of us to enter. I was hesitant because based on my research, the BTB and GTB had to enter separately. But he insisted and we…eventually went in.

Before the Ustaz asked THE questions, he verified our names again to the GTB. We noticed that the Ustaz was mumbling and we could not hear him that well. We kept looking at each other and asked him to repeat his sentences.

He then asked him questions –

  1. Has he been married before?
  2. Has he been engaged to anyone else before?

He then asked him to check his particulars again and take the oath. After which, he had to sign the form.

Here’s a funny incident. During the oath, the Ustaz was mumbling and the GTB (and I) had to follow sentence by sentence. At one part of the sentence, the GTB said wrongly! BUT the Ustaz didn’t even bother to correct him! I was like “Is he forreaaaal?” Clearly, the Ustaz was in a mood. Then he turned to me and asked me the same questions.

After which, he asked us –

  1. If we have taken any religious classes when we were younger and where?
  2. If we are still taking religious classes?
  3. If we have taken the marriage course?

He wished us the best and we went outside the room trying so hard not to laugh at the funny incident. Anyway, niat itu penting kan? We were in and out of the building within 20minutes!

With that said, we are one step closer!

Like how everyone else put it – yay yay dah boleh kahwin!

Hustling (part 1)

I don’t know how or why BTBs are always looking forward to plan their wedding (and ex-BTBs to go back to the planning stage). And here I’m like “writing this feels like a chore already…”

Maybe it’s a work hazard thing as I’m already planning/scheduling a TV series – meetings with various departments (wardrobe/art/props/makeup/casting), scheduling, location recce. But good on you BTBs because this is a once in a lifetime event, so plan all you can 😉

Anyway in late October, we passed our 150 days mark which means –

Booking of Tok Kadi

The process (choosing and booking), I totally let the GTB decide as he will be the one facing the Tok Kadi not me. So I didn’t play any part in choosing the Tok Kadi or give him my choices. What I know is that at the end of the day, he had booked the Tok Kadi and he is available on our date 🙂

Little did we both know that the father of our chosen Tok Kadi, was both of our parents Kadi (Ustaz Pasuni Bin Maulan)!  That being said, our Kadi will be Naib Kadi Syakir Bin Pasuni.

What a nice coincidence.

Then came November… The GTB and I finally painted my room. My mum (who else righhhht) have been pestering me to paint the room but I told her that I will find the time before the year ends. I got this Ma!

My room was already white to begin with. But we repainted it white again since the last time it was painted was in 2013. I decided to have a feature wall and since I was on a ‘minimalistic approach’, the feature wall will be in the shade grey. Both paints were bought from Nippon. You can find the shades here (I chose snow flakes and steel grey).

You guys… I didn’t know that even a tiny pail of paint could be so expensive!

I paid a total of $91 (with a tiny discount) for Nippon paint easy wash (5litres for snow flakes and 1litre for stylish grey). We took 2 full Saturdays to finish painting the whole room (with multiple breaks). My advise is that: if you have the budget, please hire someone to do it because painting the ceiling is a lot of WORK 😥

Alhamdullilah, one less thing to worry now that the room is done. Awaiting the bed delivery which I postponed it to be end January. You can read my post here.

Until the next update!