We took the 1-day course because –
1) ain’t got no time for a 2 days course
2) I hate group sessions
Little did we know…the day has finally come for the pre-marriage course.
The GTB and I did not have any expectations. We came with an open mind, hoping to learn and seek the advice from the experts.
The 1-day course is made up of 2 sessions –
9.30am – 12.30pm: Personalized pre-marital guidance session
2.00pm – 6.00pm: Small workshop session with other couples discussing relevant issues in a marriage
Here’s the little breakdown of what went down.
- I was late to meet the GTB for breakfast since I had a hijab malfunction so the GTB taopao-ed some toasts for me and we made it in time for registration at 9.30am. But the counselor /Ustaz/Ustazah was also late.
- When the counselor /Ustaz/Ustazah finally came, she did not introduce herself but began to ask questions about what we are working as/how did we meet/how long have we been together/why are we getting married.
Can I just pause here for a moment and let me tell you this – I was so AFRAID of falling asleep prior to coming for this course as I cannot take technical/dry information. I was so AFRAID that the 1 to 1 session would be about the ‘do’s and don’ts in marriage’ or ‘halal stuff’.
I was dead wrong. This amazing lady (whom we got to know her name towards the end of the class as Roslinda), was a counselor, feminist and holds a phD. She was so hilarious! We talked about our jobs and life in general for a good 40mins. She digressed a lot which helped because –
- We were given insights of how she is as a feminist married woman, wife and daughter
- Her experiences as a counselor for divorced/married couples
The 1 to 1 session was so interactive. She DID NOT ask/talk about the ‘halal stuff’. Instead, we discussed about –
- Why do we marry
- Because it’s a form of ibadah (half of our deen) and it paves our way to Jannah
- How do we marry/what makes a good marriage
- By being knowledgeable and have skills as an individual/couple/family
I’m considering to frame this up as a reminder of what I should do as a wife/mother in time to come.
What I take from this 1 to 1 session was that (not in order) –
- We should educate our future children on why they are here and what they can do for us (their parents) to work towards our goal: Jannah
- How we can multiply our good deeds with our children
- We should not sleep/put anything (especially posters) towards the kiblat
- We marry because it’s a form of ibadah for our Creator
- A good marriage needs to have sakinah, mawaddah and rahmah
- There is no rule/saying that a wife must serve the husband tea/coffee/food etc. That’s not our responsibilities in Islam
We were having such a blast that we only had 35 mins break for lunch before the next session. The three of us realized that it was close to 1.30pm before she ended the session.
So much love for her 🙂
Moving on to the 2nd session, we had Ustaz Matin. The ladies and men had to be seated on separate sides (apart from the GTB and I, 3 other couples were in the classroom).
The class was conducted in Malay & English (although we paid for the session to be in Malay BUT secretly hoping if the speaker could conduct it in English). Ustaz Matin even lamented that, “Korang sengaje eh tak nak bayar extra tapi nak bobal in English”. LOL.
The class was cosy, informative and had a couple of self and group interactive games/videos.
We touched issues on –
- How to know your spouse’s feelings better
- How to communicate better depending on your spouse’s characteristics
- The causes of divorces especially in Malay/Muslim community
We went through briefly about issues on Islam and intimacy (not that it matter anyway cos we were given the hard copies for us to read up).
The 2nd session flew so quickly (because none of us wanted any short breaks) and soon… We all received the certificates 🙂
150-days mark soon!