It’s the 31st of December and I’m writing down these thoughts so that I will start the new year with a fresh perspective of the Malay wedding rat rat (and also fill in the deeds about our vendors)!
The reason for the lack of posts or updates was because the GTB and I were in a blackout period for about 3-4 months. What do I mean?
First off, we have confirmed with both of our families (aka parents) about the wedding date – one of the Sundays in March 2017. However, I came across a roadblock when I was doing a rough itinerary for our wedding date. You see, the GTB lives in Punggol and I’m a Westie. There is NO WAY we can make it in time from Nikah at my place to Sanding then head to his place for another round of Sanding before changing to our evening wear outfit and do the last walk at his place before going over back to my place. Biler nak game sei? My take on this was that if we were to split it into two days (Nikah being on Sat), we still can’t make it 😦
So…the GTB suggested to do 2 separate days. Alamak…geng. That only means more money right? And both of us are adamant not to spend so much for the wedding. Anyhow, we concluded to have the Nikah on Saturday and somehow or rather, we will have to make it in time for the outfit change on Sunday at both places. So, from the initial 1 day event, it became to 1 1/2 days. Of course we relayed this message to our families and my mum was overjoyed because yay, more invites for her. LOL.
So when the dates have technicality confirmed, I wanted to check with my parents what kind of reception they wanted (which will help me in planning which vendors to book). Having spent thousands of dollars for 2 of her daughters already, why not make mine a smaller scale, right? I don’t care if it’s grand or not because I just want to be halal and proceed with honeymoon and finally get to travel with my soulmate peacefully. Haha.
So, we have reached the 2nd roadblock. I remember clearly I had this conversation with my Dad while waiting for our food to break our fast in Geylang. I asked him if he really wanted Orkes Mutiara (OM) to play at our wedding. Backstory a bit – OM played for my twin’s wedding 2 years back and the in-charge was actually a friend of ours turned relative/cousin from my paternal side. Anyhow, OM plays traditional music and no singing karaoke for kepo relatives! But… Like all vendors, they also increase their price lah. So I was kinda reluctant to fork out more than what was budgeted (because then… I can’t have my dream bridal – more deeds on this in the next few posts)!
His reply was really icantputitintowords… He said, what kind of wedding do I want. And like I told him from the start was just to have an ROMM and a small reception there. If it’s not possible, then let’s make do inside a mosque and a small reception there. He said, okay. At this moment, I was soooooo happy and thankful that they don’t need to spend so much money (they are sponsoring the food and door gifts – hence, making them have the final say of how many invitations they want). I told my Mum this (who came to join us later after getting her Chendol hahaha) and she was skeptical because you know…FATHERS.
1 month later…. Both my parents gave the green light and I was overjoyedlah. Of course I told this to my GTB and member was even happier because…less money to spend!
Just to let you guys know, at this point we have booked 0 vendors because we CANNOT CONFIRM ANYTHING (this was in early October). So upon knowing that we are doing this wedding for less than 10 hours like regular malay weddings, we began to shortlist our shortlisted list of vendors. Which brings me to…
Our 3rd roadblock.
My Dad said that his side will think that it is a shotgun marriage because…small wedding. At this point in my timeline I was already like WTF. I have friends who are getting married in the late quarter of 2017 and already booked several vendors. And the both of us seems to be “relaxing”. Again to reiterate, 0 vendors booked. Obviously I flipped. Like who wouldn’t. We are in mid October and we still have not confirmed anything? Why would you care what others have to say right? As long sendiri tau, sudah. BUT Malay makcik and packick always like to po-pet po-pet and kepo and make up stories. Granted, my uncles and aunties from my paternal side ARE LIKE THAT. But really, it’s what we know matters more right? Maybe I should write a post about the older generation take on my generation’s wedding. After quarrelling and wanting to find a solution, we came to a unanimous decision to stick to the ‘1 1/2 days’.
Which brings us to the final roadblock (happened to be in November).
So the GTB have not yet decided where his reception is going to be held at – taking into consideration the distance from my venue, number of pax at his venue and the changing of outfits. One fine day, he asked me if it would be better if his side holds a dinner reception. I said (like I told him before -_-“) to him – that would help SO MUCH in terms of timing and we can go back to our original nikah -> sanding -> change to last outfit @ bride’s place -> proceed to groom’s place -> selit an outdoor photoshoot!
P E R F E C T !
That brings us back to our initial idea – have it on ONE day.
So back and forth again with both families to tell them of the finalized date/situation.
Alhamdullilah, both parties respected our decision and we can proceed with booking of our vendors.
If you have make it to the end, congratulations and thank you for hearing me out! It has been a crazy ride for the GTB and I. I don’t know if any of you had the same sticky situation like we did, but if you did or currently going through… I would love to hear from you. We can be each other’s listening ear 🙂